The Identity Problem (IDP) …more than just an identity crisis

Introduction

Many people have a challenge, which is called the Identity Problem (IDP). I am going to give you an overall description of the IDP. Keep in mind that no person has all of the symptoms of this challenge at the same time.

You may see some traits and characteristics here that you have had. I want you to know from the very beginning that once we identify this challenge clearly, we will take positive and definite steps to clear it up. It can be cured and you can be helped. There is hope.

What is the Identity Problem?

I prefer to refer to any problem people experience as a challenge rather than a problem. For the purpose of this article, I will refer to it as a problem, hence the name of this challenge.

There are some people who do not feel that they know who they are. One might ask: who am I? There are people who do not know what their life is all about. They seem to be floating aimlessly along without specific goals. They do not have much ambition, which in turn indicates that they do not have very much energy either. They might even be people with ambition, drive, and goals, but it may not feel to them as if they are getting anywhere, even if they do!

The inner self, which is called the ego, is weak and brittle. This can be observed by people saying that they are feeling shaky inside. This shaky or insecure feeling inside causes one also to be a little bit afraid or insecure about the future. They are unsure what the future holds. A person in this position does not have an inner sense of cohesion or connectedness. There is no sense of power. Another way that some people look at it is that the inner self is scattered or fragmented. They feel that their life is in bits and pieces and they feel no strength, motivation or hope to put everything back together.

There are some people that describe themselves as: I am unwanted or, I am unlovable. Others feel that they were unplanned or unwanted babies, so they have no purpose and feel like they are some sort of mistake. They will frequently conclude that there is no reason for their existence. They frequently reveal that they are unable to cope with life.

Symptoms of the Identity Problem

Below are a few of the feelings or symptoms that people who have the Identity Problem manifest with. If you identify with half plus one of the following, it may be worth investigating IDP further:

• Some overt symptoms can be seen in the turning to vices, such as drugs, alcohol, smoking, and/or obesity.
• Some people report an intense fear of rejection.
• They may feel that their behaviour is more childlike than adultlike.
• They may lack the security and strength adults should have.
• Some people describe a feeling of depression and grief.
• There are some who feel that they have lost contact with God (in whatever way they understand the concept of God) and therefore they have a very empty feeling about themselves spiritually and emotionally.

Possible causes of the Identity Problem

This challenge originates from experiences even before birth or in the first five years of one’s life. A person can have an Identity Problem due to events that happened even before that person was even born.

• Sometimes the ultimate cause of the challenge goes back to the experiences you had before birth, in the womb. There is a kind of extra sensory perception in the communication between the mother and her unborn child. It is as if in the last three months before birth the child in the womb is like a mind reader. Should the mother experience negative experiences, emotions, and thoughts in her daily life, she may unconsciously send messages to her unborn child through hormones she secretes via the umbilical cord unto the unborn child, and can form part of the child’s unconscious thoughts.
• Strong emotions of the mother which are manifested by fear, anger, hatred, or pain frequently influence the unborn child. Before the child is born, it is very sensitive to these emotions. This has been demonstrated in many ways when the unborn child manifests its feelings by kicking and by the change in heart rate and other activities inside the uterus.
• Other emotions of the mother that counteract these strong negative emotions are positive, uplifting feelings of peace, joy, love, and security.
• Sometimes the mother’s feelings are that the pregnancy is unplanned and unwanted or has no purpose, that it is a mistake. If the mother has these feelings strongly, week in and week out throughout the pregnancy, there is a chance that the unborn child will absorb those feelings before it is ever born.
• If the mother has feelings of bitterness, resentment, and disappointment, these strong, negative emotions also produce similar feelings in the unborn child. It doesn’t always happen, but it does occur at times.
• What also needs to be taken into consideration is the attitude of the father and how it influences the feelings of the mother. If the father lacks giving support, ignores, mistreats, or rejects the mother, she may internalise these feelings, which can then be sensed by the unborn child too. This means that the father also influences the unborn child by means of the mother.
• This challenge can also originate during early childhood before age five. During these early years a child is in a perpetual state of hypnosis, which simply means that the child is highly sensitive and picks up quickly on all that goes on around them. The events, especially conflict between the parents, cause a strong impression on a child’s feelings about themselves.
• If the child was born prematurely or if it was born too late or if it had an unusual birth situation, it can have an influence on the child. It doesn’t always, but it does sometimes.
• If a child is born into a home where they experience being unwanted, unloved, or subjected to any form of abuse, or where they feel rejected by one or both parents, it can lead to a sense of not belonging or not having a purpose in life, a purpose for being alive.

How do people deal with the Identity Problem?

People tend to deal with this in one or more of the following ways:

• self-destructive behaviour

A first possible way of dealing with this is that a person may seek to fulfil the feelings of not being wanted and not having meaning in their life through some form of self-destructive behaviour. The child may even become accident-prone or illness-prone which means that they may be subjected to many illnesses all the time. In some cases, even more, serious illnesses like cancer or diabetes are aggravated or brought on by a person who unconsciously is seeking to fulfil self-destructive thoughts. Almost as if they are telling themselves deep in their unconscious mind. I don’t belong here, so I am going to leave.

• battling it

Some people deal with the Identity Problem by battling it. Some may seem to fight against it in an aggressive way. They may tend to be rebellious, anti-social, or angry all of the time.

Some may battle it in an indirect and passive-aggressive way by simply turning away from all associations with people outside themselves. They might be loners, unhappy, feeling alone all of the time. They almost feel as if the outside world does not want them and so they are going to fight against that outside world’s perception.

• escaping it

Escaping is yet another way some people deal with the Identity Problem. They may tend to cloud their mind with drugs, alcohol, smoking, or even obesity. They escape from these feelings and conditions, since they may feel that the outside world doesn’t want them, and therefore they are going to hide from it.

• confused paralysis

A fourth way to deal with the Identity Problem is to get into a state of confused paralysis. This simply means that they do nothing. They are passive. If the world doesn’t want them, then they are not going to be a part of the world. They simply watch the world go by. In their apathy, they don’t enter into the activities of the world. They don’t care for the world or the people in it. They just take a seat and do and say nothing, like watching a movie at the cinema.

• incapacity to love

Some people may find it difficult, even impossible, to truly love. The inability to love is likely the most common characteristic of people with the Identity Problem. They may even be in a loving relationship, which outwardly appears as true love, but they have difficulty experiencing lasting love. There is always something in the way that prevents this love from deepening.

These people often also find it difficult or even impossible to experience a Spiritual life, even the love of God (the Universe, the Great Mind, or however they may understand divinity).

They have difficulty to love in general. Usually, these people have a confused relationship with their parents.

Hope

I hope this article has helped you understand the Identity problem better.

You might experience this challenge to a more or lesser degree. Nevertheless, I want to assure you that help is available. We will take the necessary steps during our sessions to help you overcome the Identity Problem.

We make great use of hypnosis for the IDP. Our hypnotic sessions may appear weird to you at first. We might sometimes go back to experiences in the womb during our sessions. We might even go into space, or make a choice between two worlds. We might even learn a lesson from Beethoven.